I am a homebody - I stay home - all the time. I work via the internet - I teach via the internet - I basically socialize over the internet. Other than my daily jaunt to Starbucks, I rarely even leave the house. When I do, its generally around 3AM to go get dog food and the such - and there is rarely anyone out at 3AM - and the few that are out at the grocery store are generally either too drunk or drugged to even make sense - well let's just say you don't really want to talk to them. I keep wondering - I cannot possibly be the only semi-normal person that prefers to sleep during the day and work at night! If not, where are all those other people - are they sitting at home too like me or are they moving about? If so - are they gathering at some secret place where a strange handshake is needed to get in the door?
So today I got up at the crack of 4PM - hey that's early for me! I got dressed and went to the mall. I mainly just walked around for about an hour. I guess I have come to realize that I miss people - seeing people of all kinds - face to face - is nice. Even if you don't talk to anyone, just being around people and not realizing you are alone in the world is nice. I met a girl at a shoe store that made me laugh, another at Spencers where we somehow managed to pull an entire rack of handbags on our heads. It was embarassing but fun.
Boy - I really need to get out more =/
Friday, September 25, 2009
Thursday, September 24, 2009
In my cauldron
Its midnight and the moon shines brightly in the autumn sky. I look down upon my altar and the small cauldron in the center of it and think about what it is I want during this Sabbat. I prop the cauldron up so that I can place a tea light under it - after all - fire is good.
First in goes water, the source of most life on our planet - some have called it the very blood of the planet. I let the water warm a bit, and gaze into it, seeing the reflection of the full moon which shines in from the window behind me. Water is the possibility of all - it overcomes all barriers, even against rock, given enough time, water will always win. Water is good.
I close my eyes and think of what I wish - I wish for health first and foremost. For without health, nothing else is really all that important. Even the richest man in the world, dying from a deadly disease is still dying. Without health, we have no energy to enjoy the pleasure of life, to go outside and run in a field on a sunny day. Without health, we do not have the will to get up and to experience the world around us. I know this - I speak from experience. I pickup a small bit of Rosemary and toss it into my cauldron and it ripples the water as it goes in. Rosemary is an all healing herb, it attracts health and pushes away illness. It protects, it purifies, it makes things whole - in essence, it brings health. Health is good.
With health and life, what more could I want? I want love, friendship, companionship. Life is not worth living without caring, loving, feeling. Love cares not which medium it chooses, a mother, a father, a child, a lover - even an animal. Love is love, it is powerful and warm and strong. Love lifts you up when life beats you down, love makes you feel empowered and glowy. Love brings more riches to you than any monetary reward could compare to. I pick up a handful of Rose Petals and toss them into my cauldron. Today I wish for companionship - for love given and returned. For someone to share happy times with, to cry at sad movies, to make fun of people that annoy us and to warm us at night. Love is good.
I look into my cauldron and see a swirl of rosemary and rose petals. I see an image of happiness and the bright lights of sun and fire which bring its power of healing to the earth. I take out my wooden spoon and mix my herbs with the water. The scent of roses and rosemary rise up from my now warm cauldron and envelop me. Something is missing. The swirl in my cauldron is just that - a swirl. It has no personality, no power. It has no individual signature, no creative spark. It is missing me. I bend down towards my bubbling cauldron and gently blow on it. Air is the breath of life - it is inherently mine. My breath is like no other's- it is unique individual and only I can provide it. It blends the water, the herbs, the fire. My breath is pure air, that spark of creativity and possibility. Air is good.
I sit back and watch my cauldron bubble - my wishes for the new season bubbling in front of me. I feel its energy rise, from the cauldron, which represents the womb of the mother, through the warm water, the herbs and through my breath it releases up to the world around me. Weather the gods hear my wishes or not, it does not matter. I feel the energy around me, comforting me and using my will to affect change. I feel strong and powerful, I feel connected to the earth, and the world that exists all around me. I feel alive. Life is good.
Life is good.
First in goes water, the source of most life on our planet - some have called it the very blood of the planet. I let the water warm a bit, and gaze into it, seeing the reflection of the full moon which shines in from the window behind me. Water is the possibility of all - it overcomes all barriers, even against rock, given enough time, water will always win. Water is good.
I close my eyes and think of what I wish - I wish for health first and foremost. For without health, nothing else is really all that important. Even the richest man in the world, dying from a deadly disease is still dying. Without health, we have no energy to enjoy the pleasure of life, to go outside and run in a field on a sunny day. Without health, we do not have the will to get up and to experience the world around us. I know this - I speak from experience. I pickup a small bit of Rosemary and toss it into my cauldron and it ripples the water as it goes in. Rosemary is an all healing herb, it attracts health and pushes away illness. It protects, it purifies, it makes things whole - in essence, it brings health. Health is good.
With health and life, what more could I want? I want love, friendship, companionship. Life is not worth living without caring, loving, feeling. Love cares not which medium it chooses, a mother, a father, a child, a lover - even an animal. Love is love, it is powerful and warm and strong. Love lifts you up when life beats you down, love makes you feel empowered and glowy. Love brings more riches to you than any monetary reward could compare to. I pick up a handful of Rose Petals and toss them into my cauldron. Today I wish for companionship - for love given and returned. For someone to share happy times with, to cry at sad movies, to make fun of people that annoy us and to warm us at night. Love is good.
I look into my cauldron and see a swirl of rosemary and rose petals. I see an image of happiness and the bright lights of sun and fire which bring its power of healing to the earth. I take out my wooden spoon and mix my herbs with the water. The scent of roses and rosemary rise up from my now warm cauldron and envelop me. Something is missing. The swirl in my cauldron is just that - a swirl. It has no personality, no power. It has no individual signature, no creative spark. It is missing me. I bend down towards my bubbling cauldron and gently blow on it. Air is the breath of life - it is inherently mine. My breath is like no other's- it is unique individual and only I can provide it. It blends the water, the herbs, the fire. My breath is pure air, that spark of creativity and possibility. Air is good.
I sit back and watch my cauldron bubble - my wishes for the new season bubbling in front of me. I feel its energy rise, from the cauldron, which represents the womb of the mother, through the warm water, the herbs and through my breath it releases up to the world around me. Weather the gods hear my wishes or not, it does not matter. I feel the energy around me, comforting me and using my will to affect change. I feel strong and powerful, I feel connected to the earth, and the world that exists all around me. I feel alive. Life is good.
Life is good.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
I's just a dog
I wanted to repost this here - from a friend (Brandy) who posted this on Myspace a few years back. I am not sure if she wrote it or she got it from somewhere else, but I just wanted to make clear that I did not write it. It is very cool!
It's Just a Dog
If you read the title and are still reading this, I hope it is out of anger or morbid curiosity, wondering, "How could anyone say such a thing?" If not, this piece is for you.
To anyone who says, "It's just a dog:"
You are the reason rescues exist, why thousands of dogs die everyday in shelters, homeless and unwanted.
You are the backyard breeder or puppy miller, who looks at a dog and sees dollar signs, who cares nothing for the inevitable decline in the dog's health after having litter upon litter of puppies, nor for the countless dogs who will now die in shelters because the puppies you breed have taken up their homes.
You are the supporter of these backyard breeders and puppy mills, willing to pay $500 or more for a puppy rather than $90 for a rescued dog, because having a pedigree to show off to friends is more important than saving the life of a true and loyal companion.
You are the one who trains dogs to fight, whether for sport or protection, thus abusing your dog and bringing the call for the extermination of an entire breed of perfectly wonderful dogs.
You are the one who thinks nothing of putting your dog to sleep because it doesn't go with the furniture, or it urinates on the carpet, while at the same time balking at the thought of spanking an unruly child.
You are the one who dumps your dog at the shelter when you move, because you're too lazy to find pet-friendly housing.
You are the one who keeps your dog tied up outside, only bothering to provide the occasional bowls of food and water and possibly a tree for shade, because after all, it is just a dog, right?
To the 90 year old woman in the nursing home, abandoned by her family, yearning for companionship, stroking the fur of a new friend with the words "Therapy Dog" on its side, it's not just a dog.
To the young child who has become literate by reading aloud to a dog in the classroom, it's not just a dog.
To the person with skin cancer who had it detected by a dog when the doctors couldn't, it's not just a dog.
To the blind man who now can see through his companion, it's not just a dog.
To anyone who has been in bed, sick with the flu, and has felt the warmth of that cold nose as he curls up between your legs to give you comfort, it's not just a dog.
To anyone who comes home from a hard day of work to be greeted by someone who's so happy to see you they can't stop wiggling, it's not just a dog.
To anyone who has cried at Old Yeller, because they know what it's like to lose their best friend, to know that their friend is suffering and though it may be hard, the best thing to do is to help them go peacefully, it's not just a dog.
When you say, "It's just a dog," you really mean, "Why should I care about it? Dogs aren't important. They're useless. They don't give anything to us, so why should I give them anything in return? Why do I have to care about their feelings? They don't matter in the grand scheme of things. It's just a dog."
To everyone who says, "It's just a dog," I just have this to say to you:
You're just a human.
Copyright 2006 Brandy Henderson
It's Just a Dog
If you read the title and are still reading this, I hope it is out of anger or morbid curiosity, wondering, "How could anyone say such a thing?" If not, this piece is for you.
To anyone who says, "It's just a dog:"
You are the reason rescues exist, why thousands of dogs die everyday in shelters, homeless and unwanted.
You are the backyard breeder or puppy miller, who looks at a dog and sees dollar signs, who cares nothing for the inevitable decline in the dog's health after having litter upon litter of puppies, nor for the countless dogs who will now die in shelters because the puppies you breed have taken up their homes.
You are the supporter of these backyard breeders and puppy mills, willing to pay $500 or more for a puppy rather than $90 for a rescued dog, because having a pedigree to show off to friends is more important than saving the life of a true and loyal companion.
You are the one who trains dogs to fight, whether for sport or protection, thus abusing your dog and bringing the call for the extermination of an entire breed of perfectly wonderful dogs.
You are the one who thinks nothing of putting your dog to sleep because it doesn't go with the furniture, or it urinates on the carpet, while at the same time balking at the thought of spanking an unruly child.
You are the one who dumps your dog at the shelter when you move, because you're too lazy to find pet-friendly housing.
You are the one who keeps your dog tied up outside, only bothering to provide the occasional bowls of food and water and possibly a tree for shade, because after all, it is just a dog, right?
To the 90 year old woman in the nursing home, abandoned by her family, yearning for companionship, stroking the fur of a new friend with the words "Therapy Dog" on its side, it's not just a dog.
To the young child who has become literate by reading aloud to a dog in the classroom, it's not just a dog.
To the person with skin cancer who had it detected by a dog when the doctors couldn't, it's not just a dog.
To the blind man who now can see through his companion, it's not just a dog.
To anyone who has been in bed, sick with the flu, and has felt the warmth of that cold nose as he curls up between your legs to give you comfort, it's not just a dog.
To anyone who comes home from a hard day of work to be greeted by someone who's so happy to see you they can't stop wiggling, it's not just a dog.
To anyone who has cried at Old Yeller, because they know what it's like to lose their best friend, to know that their friend is suffering and though it may be hard, the best thing to do is to help them go peacefully, it's not just a dog.
When you say, "It's just a dog," you really mean, "Why should I care about it? Dogs aren't important. They're useless. They don't give anything to us, so why should I give them anything in return? Why do I have to care about their feelings? They don't matter in the grand scheme of things. It's just a dog."
To everyone who says, "It's just a dog," I just have this to say to you:
You're just a human.
Copyright 2006 Brandy Henderson
Good for the soul
Screaming is good for the soul. You don't have to scream at anyone in specific, just scream out loud to the world. Why the screaming? Because there are things in life that cannot be helped, things and people that cannot be changed and no amount of reason or logic will change that. There are times when effort is meaningless and turning the other cheek becomes an act that takes an amount of willpower that you simply cannot seem to muster. Sometimes you feel helpless and no matter how much ammo you have in your guns and how big your arsenal is, you just cannot bring yourself to use any of it. Keeping all that energy bottled up inside... well lets just say it's not good. Energy has to flow somewhere - it cannot be stopped and eventually you end up blowing up at the cat, dog, husband, child, sister or even a poor defenseless PC.
So reach deep down in your gut, in that place where the bile flows in rivers of hot molten lava, and let it erupt! One loud long burst is all you need - let that toxic gass flow - in more ways than one if you feel the need for it - but don't bottle it in! And if your neighbors complain - well tell them they are lucky you are only screaming out loud and not at them. If they insist, take that for what it is - an act of volunteering kindness in helping you in your hour of need by painting a big red bullseye on their forehead and getting ready for a verbal beating from hell. Energy always flows better when it has a target anyway - be sure to thank them later.
Trust me, afterwards everything will be better!
So reach deep down in your gut, in that place where the bile flows in rivers of hot molten lava, and let it erupt! One loud long burst is all you need - let that toxic gass flow - in more ways than one if you feel the need for it - but don't bottle it in! And if your neighbors complain - well tell them they are lucky you are only screaming out loud and not at them. If they insist, take that for what it is - an act of volunteering kindness in helping you in your hour of need by painting a big red bullseye on their forehead and getting ready for a verbal beating from hell. Energy always flows better when it has a target anyway - be sure to thank them later.
Trust me, afterwards everything will be better!
Tuesday, September 22, 2009
What I wish for today...
I wish it were raining so I could run outside and dance naked
I wish that people were not judged by the music they listen to or the way they choose to dress
I wish the same rights were given to all regardless of how many legs each one has
I wish that rain would fall in purple puddles
I wish that summer was done and the coldness was winter was upon us
I wish that women had the courage to say no
I wish that men had the courage to stop demanding
I wish that self-righteousness burned its wielder like a fire explosion of pain
I wish that everyone who went to sleep last night had enough to eat
I wish that for just one day no one in the world were in pain
I wish that religion really did set people free
I wish we could all fire our representatives
I wish we all remembered the things we chose to forget
I wish I could find a person to treasure the love I give them
I wish that I were exactly the same age as I am
I wish that my youth stays safely tucked in my past
I wish that Mother Nature would pay a visit and kick some ass
I wish that I could fly away in the night sky
I wish that my dogs could talk
I wish people not to judge those that chose not to have children
I wish those with children would learn to raise them
I wish that politicians had to live their decisions
I wish that my path were always lit with paper lights
I wish that oceans were clean and we lived under them
I wish that we were more fascinated with each other than with things that go boom
I wish that the night didn’t help to hide so many things
I wish that daylight wasn’t so bright
I wish I were in London
I wish to go to sleep in Seattle and wake up in San Francisco
I wish the Bible belt had no bible in it
I wish small children could make grown ups see the wonderful world they live in
I wish cats and dogs would play chess
I wish we really did listen to our elders
I wish the government cared
I wish that people didn’t need a government
I wish that people continued to rock on regardless of their age
I wish the stars would float to earth so I could say hello to one of them
I wish I could hear the whispers of ants
I wish that people saw others as people and not as assets
I wish that companies didn’t make any money
I wish that everyone would let their inner artist off their leash
I wish that people in all countries were friends
I wish that bigots would accidentally shoot themselves in their quest for a perfect world
I wish that God didn’t speak to anyone so no one could misquote her
I wish that animals could fight back
I wish that scientists discovered their hearts
I wish that religious addicts learned a little science
I wish for some rain
I wish for some snow
I wish for some music
I wish there really was a starbucks in every corner
I wish money were no object
I wish distance were flexible
I wish I knew my neighbors
I wish there wasn’t anything left to wish for…
I wish that people were not judged by the music they listen to or the way they choose to dress
I wish the same rights were given to all regardless of how many legs each one has
I wish that rain would fall in purple puddles
I wish that summer was done and the coldness was winter was upon us
I wish that women had the courage to say no
I wish that men had the courage to stop demanding
I wish that self-righteousness burned its wielder like a fire explosion of pain
I wish that everyone who went to sleep last night had enough to eat
I wish that for just one day no one in the world were in pain
I wish that religion really did set people free
I wish we could all fire our representatives
I wish we all remembered the things we chose to forget
I wish I could find a person to treasure the love I give them
I wish that I were exactly the same age as I am
I wish that my youth stays safely tucked in my past
I wish that Mother Nature would pay a visit and kick some ass
I wish that I could fly away in the night sky
I wish that my dogs could talk
I wish people not to judge those that chose not to have children
I wish those with children would learn to raise them
I wish that politicians had to live their decisions
I wish that my path were always lit with paper lights
I wish that oceans were clean and we lived under them
I wish that we were more fascinated with each other than with things that go boom
I wish that the night didn’t help to hide so many things
I wish that daylight wasn’t so bright
I wish I were in London
I wish to go to sleep in Seattle and wake up in San Francisco
I wish the Bible belt had no bible in it
I wish small children could make grown ups see the wonderful world they live in
I wish cats and dogs would play chess
I wish we really did listen to our elders
I wish the government cared
I wish that people didn’t need a government
I wish that people continued to rock on regardless of their age
I wish the stars would float to earth so I could say hello to one of them
I wish I could hear the whispers of ants
I wish that people saw others as people and not as assets
I wish that companies didn’t make any money
I wish that everyone would let their inner artist off their leash
I wish that people in all countries were friends
I wish that bigots would accidentally shoot themselves in their quest for a perfect world
I wish that God didn’t speak to anyone so no one could misquote her
I wish that animals could fight back
I wish that scientists discovered their hearts
I wish that religious addicts learned a little science
I wish for some rain
I wish for some snow
I wish for some music
I wish there really was a starbucks in every corner
I wish money were no object
I wish distance were flexible
I wish I knew my neighbors
I wish there wasn’t anything left to wish for…
Something new
Ok so I am not that big into blogging - well I like to write - mainly fiction - but lately I feel that if I dont put some thoughts on paper I may actually explode so here goes =p
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